Anxiety often feels like you’ve just walked in to a brick wall and feel as though all the air has been taken from your lungs. You often feel like you’re about to die, the world outside seems off and you feel as though there will never be an end. As you struggle through not only trying to figure out what the culprit was, you often begin to question your own sanity, trying to understand why you can’t get it together and keep control over it. It drives you to question what you’ve done wrong, why me, or what can I do? I’ve struggled with the “Big A” for years, I’ve had many more good days than bad days for awhile now, I kicked its ass and showed it who’s boss, ha, I kid. I wish that were the case, but really I did beat it once, twice, three hundred thousand times. But there are those times that it comes back, and that’s ok too.
I say I beat it because if you can wake up and do this thing we all life better than we did the day before, you are beating it. Could we say that anxiety is a little codependent, why yes, yes we can. Its like when you meet someone that touches your heart, you never forget them, there will always be those things that trigger the remembrance of someone or something, that’s the same with anxiety. Even when we think it’s over and we think we’ve forgotten all the bad, something so small can trigger the nervous system to recall and causes our body to react.
It sucks though, like it really sucks when you have those moments of feeling stuck, you feel like no one understands what you’re going through, or that you’re making it up… I understand, Spirit understands, you’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many times when I was in either an anxiety fit or panic attack (and yes there is a difference) that I would lay there crying begging for God and Spirit to help, while yelling at myself to snap out of it. It’s not always something you can just “snap” out of it and that’s ok! It’s ok to just need to cry or scream, or just be. There is no right or wrong way of handling your anxiety. Just be, quit trying to force yourself out of it, it has to happen naturally.
I’ve taken a new approach on anxiety and have begun to see I just needed a moment; I needed to take a few breaths and just be. Its a moment to just feel everything that you’re trying to mask, its a time to reflect on what’s really blocked in your heart or what is it that you’ve not healed yet. The body doesn't just freak out for no reason, I mean we all can have those Spiritual moments where we are more sensory to spirit energy and it can cause us to feel things that don’t necessarily belong to us. However more times that most its our own inner healing that is needing someone to shed light and attention, throwing us a bone to fetch and get to working on it.
Use these moments of panic and fear and know that they will not last forever. Take that inner power and connect, dig deep, the only way to get out of constantly living in a revolving door is to step out of the way. Take yourself out of it and allow your soul to speak. What is it you’re missing, wishing, lacking, loving, etc. It’s not always the bad things that cause anxiety, there are times when the good things do as well, but again it’s because they are triggering something from our past.
Take care of yourself, take time, and just know this will not last forever. So must the weather and the season’s change so must you. As you grow and own your power, no one will be able to take it away, not even your mind! Give yourself a hug too, remind yourself that even though you’re feeling disconnected and feeling like you’re never going to feel like you again, you will, I promise! Remind yourself to give love to your soul, honor where you are and know… tomorrow is a new day! Get up and try again, you got this!