About the author…
Oh about me… ugh where to begin. If you are finding yourself reading all this I truly believe that God and Spirit have lead you here. For those of you who don’t know anything about me, lets begin there. My life changed around the age of 30. I went from smiling thinking I knew what the next day was to bring, to crying all day and night, trying to figure out how I was to become a single mom with no job, money or place to go after an intense divorce. I found myself stuck in a cycle of doubt, shame, fear and an immense amount of crying.
My life felt upside down, well hell, it was. I had no job, I was a single mom for the first time and had to figure out how to keep my head up during what life was throwing at me. Was I lost yes, was I scared yes, was I confident it would get better, NO. I had absolutely no trust at that moment. My life was falling apart, my family didn’t live close, I was frozen in my bed while my kids were at school begging for my mom to come and help me.
See, I lost my mom at the age of 6; she passed within 3 days of being diagnosed with the big “C”. My last remembrance of her was seeing her red hair from her hospital door as the doctor closed it, while I sat eating vanilla ice cream and peanut butter cookies in the nurses’ station. I never got to tell her I loved her one more time, I never got to see her one last time, our final ‘bye mommy’ was as her and my dad were dropping me off for dance class as my dad took her to the hospital. My life ended then for the first time.
As I screamed out for her to come and make this all better, I felt so discouraged, because my whole life growing up I tried to push her out of my mind once she had passed, because all I knew was to not think about her, so that I didn’t cry; that when all the other girls were making mothers day cards or having sleepovers with cookies and homemade crafts, that I could get through it, again by not thinking about it.
Once I found myself falling from what felt like heaven to hell in a matter of days, the only one I could think of was her, she was the closest one to heaven, she could save me right? In that moment I prayed harder than I ever had, I cried yelling at her because all I needed, all I wanted was her to hug me and tell me it was going to be okay. I just wanted to her to tell me ‘we’ would get through this together and that she had faith in me, that I was strong enough to pick myself up and keep moving forward.
In all this my life changed, that connection I felt in that moment and from those moments on lead me to finding my gifts on an unexpected journey, leading me to helping those who were/are missing their loved ones the same. Helping others to feel those hugs, messages and the love from above wrapping them in that heavenly light.
Trust is everything to me now, that my mom is with me, she helped me to reconnect with my faith, just knowing without a shadow of a doubt that she’s with me and many others I have lost… That if I believe in me and Spirit, they will believe in me. When I’m feeling like I can’t and I give 50% they will give the other 50%. If you are to learn anything from this blog, is that God/The Divine/Spirit and your loved ones on Spirit side, ALL have your back!
I’ve always enjoyed sharing my story, my journey. I feel that in sharing it can help someone else to see that with all roads traveled there is still a light at the end of each tunnel we must pass through. This is just a small snippet of my story; I can tell you there are many others that I will share along the way. Being a medium isn’t always roses and butterflies and over time I will share some stories as well.
What I will say for now is, I’m not a perfect writer, actually I’m dyslexic, so if you see errors feel free to message me with an edited version of my articles as long as your editing fee. I’m totally kidding but bare with me, as I write, so does spirit, we tend to come together in these moments and sometimes we type faster than our minds or slower than our thoughts actually come, it’s a fun time.
My dyslexia at a younger age made me shy away from writing, but it’s in my blood, it’s in my soul. In the end it will be a fun, sometimes confusing journey while we both try and decipher what my mind and spirit brain are trying to convey. We can do this, right? I have to trust this process and you have to trust that you are here for a reason. Thank you in advance for your support and joining me on this new journey! We will see what comes from it and with it! To many crazy stories, motivational times, tearful times and times of me just being J.Marie. So much love to each one of you who read this.