As the year has come to a close and a new one is upon us, so must we take time to reflect back. I can say that as for me that 2018 was, well, a year. I feel that we can find the positive in anything if we look hard enough, however, sometimes it’s just easier to say “Thank goodness it’s over” as we celebrate the endings and seeing them as new room for growth.
As most of us experienced a rollercoaster of crazy with twists and turns, feeling as though you were going to be catapulted out at any given second, while others stayed steadily rocking back and forth on a boat while staying afloat. What can I say, you survived! In all seriousness though, 2018 was tough, it seemed that everything we once thought was sound and solid, had cracks throughout. It showed us that we were to let go of the things that were no longer serving us. The cracks had been there all along, in many areas of our lives, but we had been holding things together for some time, heck even somethings had broken and been glued back together, but 2018 reminded us that it was time for a change.
Healing was a huge part of all of this as well. The energy of 2018 was pushing all of us to heal from the wounds of our past. It was all about facing pain, fears, and those things that we had shoved down a long time ago. You know those times when you’ve said “I’m fine” and just kept moving, well those left some boxes left unpacked in your heart. For the last several years we’ve just kept moving, the momentum of the years were to propel us forward, but all that tends to do, is mask what we aren’t ready to face and as you saw 2018 made sure to remind you, it was time.
For myself, I felt I had let myself down, my kiddos as times, as well as some of my clients. We are only human and with that comes human experiences. No matter how much I would’ve liked to believe that my spiritual side could fix everything, it couldn’t. I experienced extreme heartbreak, I found myself becoming a single mom, being diagnosed with Scleroderma, fibromyalgia and Symptomatic Lupus, while learning to juggle life differently. There were many days this past year where I had to take time for me, to make sure that not only was I physically ok, but mentally and spiritually, as we all should do! But more so, I found myself confused and lost a few time, praying and truly calling on my Spirit team.
We can not be of service to ANYONE unless we are are whole and of service to SELF first. It was a trying year and it seems that we we were all going through so much, but we also had to take time for ourselves and learning how to be in love with self firs and foremost. It takes time to truly enjoy being alone, loving your own heart, mind, body and soul. It’s not always easy to do that and I know for myself, it was a challenge some days. I know from stories I had heard throughout the year, my story was not quite like others, I surely was counting my blessings and sending prayers to many.
What I learned from this year more than anything was to trust myself! I had always trusted the Spirit side, but this time it was for me to look in the mirror. I feel that everyone should always look at their struggles and changes as true blessings. That something bigger and better is coming and 2019 has plenty of room for it. Not only did I trust myself but it continued to add to the trust that I have with my Spirit Team. It reminded me that yes, we go through things, yes they hurt like hell sometimes, but we are bigger than anything that life throws at us. I learned to love me in a different way, how to speak to my heart and soul more clearly and even more, how to heal all aspects of me.
There were periods I reflected questioning why everyone was feeling so much pain, why there were so many struggles in so many lives. What I gained from that, was that, we needed to believe in something bigger than ourselves. So many forget to pray when things get tough, I know we have all had those periods in life. I can say prayer was everything to me, it was my morning, my afternoon, my evening. It was my place of peace and love throughout many months of 2018. God sometimes has to take things, make changes, move some furniture in our life, to remind us to lean on him when we are scared, worried, or alone. That he’s making a way for us, he’s going to do it, but he’s going to do it for our highest good.
2018 is now gone, 2019 is here. While we sometimes come in with remnants of the past we must remember to leave it at the door. If it left you once, you leave it there, if it hurt you once, remember it can hurt again. Heal you, before you heal the situation, this allowing you to view it with clear eyes, a clear mind and a more fulfilled heart. You deserve sometimes whole, something permanent, not sometime temporary. View if for what the future holds, not what it can do for only the moment. Love yourself and fill voids with substance, with dreams, with goals. Let 2019 bring you blessings, love and happiness. If you are present for you, the rest with follow. Let this be your year, I know I am!