Dear 2020, 

When most here in the year 2020, there is so much anxiety, stress, binge eating, confusion, worry, doubt, and even more so fear wrapped around it.  There is a period where in 2020 the only thing I could personally couldn’t wrap my head around was all the people who were having to endure this pandemic alone.  The ones who were waiting for a loved one to come home healed and healthy, as well as the ones who were laying in a hospital room praying that they’d get to go home again one day, to the ones who were having to pass alone.

You had those who rose to internet fame, those who found their drive to begin fulfilling their dreams, to those who did the best they could to emotionally survive the silence, the highs and lows, and the chaotic state of the world… while there were those few that couldn’t bare it all. 

There was no right or wrong way to handle 2020.  There was a constant state of survival mode.  I can tell you, being someone who struggled with insane OCD and germaphobic for several years, I was scared that I was going to trigger something within my own spirit and soul and make myself so scared to even go to the grocery store, to breathe the outside air, the list goes on. 

There was something very telling of my spirit when it came to how it handled the pandemic.  It went from workout craves, to binge eating, to laughing, to crying, to meditating, to not even being able to process my emotions.  I would create one day, the next I wouldn’t, the weight of hearing all that my clients were enduring and being so limited in how I could help was… A LOT.  In all the days in 2020, there was one thing I was beyond grateful for my boys and my ability to just go with the flow.  You know for most they were pulling their hair out, they were ready to get life back to moving in the way that they felt was “normal.” 

What was normal?  For me during this crazy time of life, I felt it was more normal than my life had been.  I felt I got to know my kids, I got to know myself, I got to be reminded that life changes always, without thought most times, and if we can find even that one good moment within, then damn we are doing something pretty amazing.  

Again, there was no right or wrong way in which to handle the last year.  I remember when a client who had seen me in 2019 booked a session during 2020.  When I got on the new way of working (zoom), I remember this client saying to me that Spirit and I had told them that this year, the year 2020, was going to be amazing for them.  Now in those words alone, there has to be a different perspective. 

Perspective to one is that life will get better, money will improve, relationships may improve, and life will just generally improve.  From another in their perspective being healthy during a global pandemic is an improvement, having a family to love is an improvement, finding self-love is an improvement, being able to have a few days to do something you’ve been putting off is an improvement, crying without fear or judgment and working through your crap is an improvement.  It doesn’t have to be something big. Perspective is so important in life. To each person what they are appreciative and grateful for is different, some the same, but has variances.  

My point with this is, look at who you were at the beginning, the middle, and the end of 2020.  Some may see drastic differences, others may see that there wasn’t much change, others may wish the changes may have been more drastic, others… well those others that feel it was the worst year of your life I’d like for you to stop and think about one thing… 

YOU ARE STILL HERE! Don’t let one year out of your life define you!  There is still time to make those changes that you are seeking, there is still time to shift recreate, and empower your life in ways you could only dream of.  It’s not a lost cause just yet.  God woke you, God created you, and he has placed in your heart the tools you need, don’t lose hope yet! 

Smile in the face of fear and remind yourself that wherever you are today starting in 2021, YOU have gotten yourself this far.  Accept where you are and just know you NEVER have to settle in it, this is temporary and there is more magic ahead.  Take a moment and give thanks, take a moment and say a prayer for those who wish they could still be here, those that wish someone they loved were still here.  Say a prayer that the guidance you are seeking finds you and the small things matter in the bigger scheme of things.  

Slow down too, life is… Too short to rush through, because when you are rushing you are not living. 

Love to you all!